I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
worst night to have a conscience
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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