You just made me feel so damn special
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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