I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
