If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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