READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
