Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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