I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
