i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
