You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
