just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
