We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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