Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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