You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
this hospital has no fireball
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
