I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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