Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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