I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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