My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
God I need to hump something, right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
