so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
