New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
