why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
