You work out of a Hotel?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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