I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
