Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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