Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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