what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
