So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
