I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
