You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
