i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
