how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Someone came in the potted fern
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
