I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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