What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
