i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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