I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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