i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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