we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
