I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We just shotgunned beers for America
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
