Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I cockslap morals
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
