I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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