if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It's Friday. Sex?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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