Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
