Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
