He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
