your thong is hanging out like whoa
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
