And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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