Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
