even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
