I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
