i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
