I just made out with a guy for $7.
just tell him i said nine months
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Let's get the cat blown out
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
